Additional Marks Post #5 - Read with caution, evaluating certain individuals -

Additional Marks (Bonus: Becoz Ben is Greedy)


I actually presented this a few days back, and would like to state facts and some tips as well.

Fact #1: The course did show a lot of lack of emotional intelligence.

Fact #2: Most of what we presented was due to signs and issues that we saw in the course.

Fact #3: Above are reasons why you should read my post. (Convinced yet?)

Like I have said, our course needs to chill. Honestly, there are 2 types of people: the one that is suffering from the lack of Emotional Intelligence, and another is the one that is suffering because of the one that is lacking.

Let me say this: Both are at fault, this does not exclude me. And I will split it up into two categories.

First Category: The One that is Lacking (I fall under this category, just saying>.<)

You are not at fault because of the lack of emotional intelligence, you are at fault because you never tried. In Daniel Goleman's framework, most of us fall under self-awareness and empathy. I urge all of you falling under this category to GO and do some research about it. As we have not been aware about it, but got hints: You reject ideas, and change. You keep telling yourself you are right. You realize that people start to ignore you. That is because your approach is wrong. Accept it that you are wrong, there is nothing wrong with making a mistake, learn from it. And lastly, learn and observe your surroundings, DO IT WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT TO OBSERVE EVERYONE.

Second Category: The One that is the Victim (My Groupmates, thanks for putting up with my shit)

You are also at fault, at fault for not doing anything about it. We already know there is a lack of Emotional Intelligence in certain individuals, don't get angry with them, don't scold them. Understand that it is difficult without awareness, we lack a lot of empathy. What we can do if we get irritated is to nicely tell them, 'I would need to finish my work first, is it ok if I help you after that?' Then do your stuff and help them after that. Don't forget to help them. and if they keep coming for help, do tell them NICELY they need to look up the basics not rely on you. NICELY.

That's  about it... I hope this is a start for you guys, MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU GUYS~!!!!!
if you want to read:

http://www.danielgoleman.info/daniel-goleman-how-emotionally-intelligent-are-you/
https://www.mentor-coach.eu/EN/articles/observing_feelings.html

Reflection on Learning in the Course: Blog Post #4

  It has been a long 11 weeks of learning about communication skills, and I am glad to say that I have learnt a lot in this period of time. I had two objectives at the start of this course, to accept my surrounding's views, and also to improve my presentation skills.

  As I have stated in my first post, coming to an understanding with other's perception forces me to put on ideals of my own onto him/her. As it is inbuilt within me, I absolutely despise being told what to do, or that I have to follow someone's else because they think it is easier. I believe everyone has their own way of doing things. Unfortunately, when it comes to ideas and worldviews, I do force some of mine onto others. During this course, I did pick up something brilliant. I read an article given by my lecturer about 'perceiving others', in this article it states that understanding others will lead to a rapid discovery of truth. I put some thought into it, and realized that I do learn a lot of ideas, truth, and how people view different situations, but this is only when I take down the barrier. The barrier that 'your views are always right', More said from Carl Rogers, the article that I was reading about, he stated that truth is actually approached when defenses are dropped. It was an eye opener to read it, it was only then, I realized I did not have to force anyone's truth, nor follow his truth, but taking down the barrier and accepting that he has his own truths makes myself learn more, and understand the world for the better.

  This is not all, through digging and trying my best to make a good grade from the presentation, I learn many tactics about presenting, especially as the conclusion specialist. I learn that if an audience is able to question themselves, and bring something back with them, the conclusion was powerful. And although I had glossophobia, a powerful speech comes from yourselves, believing in what you need to deliver. I would be glad to say that this is not the end for me, I will have a lot more to give myself, a lot more presentations to give in the near future, and along the way, I will continue researching on different ways to excel myself in communicating to an audience.

Thank you for everything SEM1902 Friday class, but I learn a lot about you guys as well. Hope all of you read this can comment. >.<


Best Regards,

Benjamin Lu     signing off 

Interpersonal conflict (BenMeowzAllTheTime Version) -REVISED-

In America, conflict has been increasing difficulty to handle among the young individuals. A survey from a website called ‘PewResearchCenter’ states that, there is a high increase in young people in conflict situation and one of these many reasons interpersonal conflict happens is because of racial and religious discrimination. Today I am going to discuss about a disagreement seen on the internet between a young man, and a U.S soldier in a convenient store.

              This conflict takes place in a convenient store in New Jersey where a soldier walks up to a Muslim cashier and gets interrupted by a young man saying ‘not to buy from a Muslim.’ The soldier then giggles, not taking the youngster seriously. The young man then insisted that the soldier should not buy from the cashier, which annoyed the soldier. The soldier then asks him what his problem is with the cashier, and what did the cashier do to receive such a treatment. The young man ignores the question and implied to the soldier that he was supposed to ‘fight the Muslim not harmonize with them’. The soldier then raised his voice a little, telling him that he was fighting for the freedom of the citizens and freedom of people to believes in whatever religion they want. When the soldier realized the situation was a not a joke, he was quite upset but decided to try to avoid the conflict. Unfortunately, after the young man’s persistence, the soldier acted to lecture the young man, starting an argument.

              In this scenario, I believe that the soldier had a very calm and well-mannered response as compared to majority of the common people. The soldier looked tired in a uniform in, we can assume that he was most likely just let off duty. This would affect his views of consequences and lead to an argument. His giggle at the start was most likely a sign of surprise. This is a common reaction for someone that is surprised about that remark, showing a hint of question if that remark was serious or just a joke. In the views of the young individual that gave those comments, he has been influence by the internet and poor cultural upbringing. It might also be because of a past experienced event that cause a bias of racial discrimination. This young man had no means of collaborating or accommodating, instead, he was using a competitive state of means to get his point through. This is a weak way of handling the situation. Instead, I would recommend not one but both that should compromise and sit down and talk about the situation. Compromising, defined by Thomas Keilmann, is being assertive, but cooperative. Although both parties do not have the same perspective and views, but could have cooperated and discuss it together in a more neutral manner.

What would you guys have done if you were the soldier? As readers, was there any other way to react in this situation?

Blog Post 2 Revised(Situational analysis)

Occasionally, there are situations that non-verbal communication can cause people to act rashly. In my instance, this interaction put my friends and I in quite a dangerous situation. The scene was at a China illegal gambling den which was behind a very old arcade. I was with 2 other friends, Joey, who was American, and David, who was Korean. David was playing at a video game table with multiple player sits which was empty, and joey and I were sharing another table. The goal of the game was to ‘catch fishes’ to gain points, with each fish giving a certain amount of points. Certain number of points will then be transferred to real time money.

While intrigued in playing the game, a middle-aged Chinese man strolled into the room, taking a sit at the same table as my friend David. He soon requested my friend while raising his voice to move to another table, since he wanted the table to himself. My friend refuse to move, which made the man quite upset, he stood up and taunted David. In the start of an intense argument, the man pulled out a knife from his pocket and threatened David, and just in that instance David grabbed the man’s arm immobilizing him. Me and Joey quickly stood up and came to his aid. The frustrated man realized he was outnumbered and dropped his knife and left.[ZBL1] 

In this case, I will be evaluating the man on non-verbal communication of culture. It was obvious that people in that country shouted a lot, but in this case, this middle-aged man looked like a regular in this gambling den, and this most likely gave him a feeling on superior as a regular. The man’s posture and actions of standing up and taunting will be a sign of aggression, so will be his tone of speech. I could tell that, even with the known fact that the locals there that talked loudly, that he was trying to start a fight. Also, not everyone will carry a knife around, with the fact that he had a knife showed that he might have had background of being in a rough society. On the other hand, David had no idea on how to deal with the situation, and from observation, his pride could have gotten in the way. David was proud to be Korean, and he was well respected as a foreigner in China, this might have blurred his judgement of the situation instead of accommodating with the man’s wants.

In conclusion, I learn from this situation that non-verbal communication like tone of voice and stance can be affected culture, like seen with the middle-aged man. I believe that we can, with better understanding of their background, tackle this situation in a well-mannered and civilized approach. 

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Descriptive Reflection: Strengths and Challenges in Communicating (Blog post #1) REVISED

Strength and Challenges
As I do not have many qualities in communication, one of the attributes that will excel in my communication is the interest in understanding different worldviews of each individual. Each person holds a certain truth to himself/herself, that perspective is solely his own. It intrigues me how the society and surrounding environment affects one's viewpoint and belief system, together with how he/she was raised as a child. This interest pushes me to desire communication with a variety of individuals, resulting in a urge to communicate and socialize with people. This results with conversations with countless people. Unfortunately, one's desire is also one's weakness. When someone does not fully comprehend the opposition party's viewpoint, or worst, disagrees with each other the tendency to argue and force their own viewpoint onto others is highly likely, and I believe that that is ones constraint. Communication goes downhill when one puts excessive emotion into his argument. No, not passion and inspiration, but anger and sadness. Each exchange of sentence carries an emotion and meaning, negative emotions such as anger will disrupt the flow of communication changing a simple debate to a heavy argument. Although born logical and observant, I cannot seem to control myself to not show and force my perspectives at certain situations. This causes misunderstandings and upsets the people around me, making it difficult for communication to continue smoothly. When I was working once, I did not understand the perspective of my superiors and disrespected their perspective, and that resulted in an argument. 

Two objectives
Two goals in which I would like to achieve by the end of this course is definitely, to open my mind more into understanding the behavior of others, accepting and opening my mind to their actions and communication purposes. Some people do not understand each other's reasons for acting or doing certain things, and talking in certain ways, and this will help me greatly in socializing with my surroundings. Secondly, presentation poses a weakness towards me. This aspect holds great priority in my future work and job. If I could pick up some tips and learn some presentation skills it would be great.

Descriptive Reflection: Strengths and Challenges in Communicating (Blog post #1)

Strength and Challenges
As I do not have many qualities in communication, one of a heavily weighted attribute that will excel me in communication is the interest in understanding different worldviews of each individual. Each person holds a certain truth to himself/herself, that perspective is solely his own. It intrigues me how the society and surrounding environment affects one's viewpoint and belief system, together with how he/she was raised as a child. This interest pushes me to desire communication with a variety of individuals. Unfortunately, one's desire is also one's weakness. When someone does not fully comprehend the opposition party's viewpoint, or worst, disagrees with each other the tendency to argue and force their own viewpoint onto others is highly likely, and I believe that that is ones constraint. Communication goes downhill when one puts excessive emotion into his argument point. No, not passion and inspiration, but anger and sadness. Each exchange of sentence carries an emotion and meaning, negative emotions such as anger will disrupt the flow of communication changing a simple debate to a heavy argument. Although born logical and observant, I cannot seem to control myself to not show and force my perspectives at certain situations. This causes misunderstandings and upsets my surroundings, making it difficult for communication to continue smoothly.

Two objectives
Two goals in which I would like to achieve by the end of this course is definitely, to open my mind more into understanding the behavior of others, accepting and opening my mind to their actions and communication purposes. Some people do not understand each other's reasons for acting or doing certain things, and talking in certain ways, and this will help me greatly in socializing with my surroundings. Secondly, presentation poses a problem towards my life. This aspect holds great priority in my future work and job.

Communication 1(Setting your own objective)

In observation of social norms, communication and outlooks are the grounded basis of building relationships. As one in society it is important for each individual to communicate and mingle with hi/her surroundings to strengthen and build relationship. Not only to build relationship, communication is also essential for first person impression. First impression will prove useful for anyone in any industry ranging from getting a job, fulfilling a contract, or completing deals with sellers and buyers from around the world.
From experience, as a person, I do believe that i lack formality in speech. Building an impression of formality will help me in the future companies and businesses. Along with the help of my teacher and my peers I would like to look into further resources on how to improve formalities and display a good presentation of myself as civil as possible. In addition, creating a well developed presentation and proposal for a certain project will also prove helpful in the industry. Researching on video making and improving presentation PowerPoint will be my second goal for this module. Since I am given the chance to take this course module, I would like to make the best of it and absorb and take in as much research sites and advice as i can to further improve myself in this aspects.